Me, Arnie, and our Penises

People really like belonging.  This is nothing new, and I don’t consider it a terribly original observation.  But it troubles me constantly. 
When I was a little boy, I primarily socialised with females.  My mother owned a nursery which was run from our house, and all the employees were women.  My father was never around, and all the teachers at school were women.  The majority of my little friends were also females, but small versions.  I very rarely socialised with boys, and when I did, I often experienced a wonderful acceptance.  This usually meant I couldn’t crinkle my nose at farts, and I had to pretend to be interested in the World Cup, but it still made me feel good to be accepted; to be normal; to belong.
Of course, most of the time I wasn’t accepted, I wasn’t normal, and I certainly didn’t belong anywhere.  And though this has been pretty consistant up to this day, occassionally a male or two will think I’m a real man for a while, and it’s a nice feeling.  Then they find out my terrible secrets (essentially femininity), and I then become one of the girls again.  Or one of the queers.  Or just the extra person no one is quite sure how to catagorise.  When I read “Boys Will Be Boys and Girls Will Not,” I was reminded of the wonderful feelings of being accepted as a man.  As many of the men mentioned in this article, I would love to be able to take credit for all of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s upper body strength.  I mean, that’s pretty much my upper body strength, right?  Cause I have a penis too (don’t listen to anyone tell you otherwise). 

I love that Mariah Burton Nelson points out that the sports men excel in are specifically designed to showcase their particular strengths.  So if women can’t do it, obviously they aren’t as good!  I vote for a human phoetus incubation race.  But that’s just not impressive, is it?  I’ve been told it hurt though, y’know, bringing the whole human race into existance (not to undermine the importance of any test tube babies who may be reading this blog).
It’s so interesting that female competence is measured in comparison to male oriented inventions!  Seriously, the more I think about it, the more I’m in the mood for a HPI race!  Actually, men have been known to breatfeed.  So, here’s something that both genders can concievably do.  Maybe women can do it better, but what does that prove?  Only, I think that the men who participated are faggots and are probably going to hell.
Not to say that I’m ignoring all the wonderful things women can do in sports, but according to society, women’s “special features” (I’m not quoting anyone there, it was just the first term I could think of) aren’t anything special compared to men’s.  WTF?@!!